I'm home again. Sorry about the abrupt cessation of posting, but I just couldn't write about it any more. I was in the middle of a post explaining that I couldn't post any more and the power went out and ate the post. I figured the Universe agreed and left it at that.
It was both too big to condense down into words and as mundane as breathing at the same time. How does one describe the indescribable? How does one post about breathing?
I'm in unfamiliar inner terrain and am in the process of reintegrating my life. Thanks for reading along, you're all very dear to me.
Namasté,
Becky
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Saturday, October 20, 2007
India in a nutshell
One moment, I was napping in my corner window bed and five minutes later I was riding an elephant around the neighbourhood. I can't explain how this came about or my lack of surpise that it did
This is India. Surrender is inevitable. Resistance is futile.
This is India. Surrender is inevitable. Resistance is futile.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Quick Update from Rajasthan
Assalam alaikum,
I know I'm behind in posting, but I wanted to let people know we got here safe after another full day of travel. We're getting ready to eat dinner on the roof of a palace on a lake where we're staying and the view is breathtaking. There are open air verandas on every floor and it looks like we're in Italy instead of India. What magic!
Tomorrow is a Qawwali party and this week will be tabla, dance and voice lessons and a visit to a mosque.
A few days ago, 8 of us went white water rafting in the Himalayas on the Ganga with class 4 rapids! I've always wanted to go white water rafting and what a way to start!!!
I'm having the time of my life.
Becky
I know I'm behind in posting, but I wanted to let people know we got here safe after another full day of travel. We're getting ready to eat dinner on the roof of a palace on a lake where we're staying and the view is breathtaking. There are open air verandas on every floor and it looks like we're in Italy instead of India. What magic!
Tomorrow is a Qawwali party and this week will be tabla, dance and voice lessons and a visit to a mosque.
A few days ago, 8 of us went white water rafting in the Himalayas on the Ganga with class 4 rapids! I've always wanted to go white water rafting and what a way to start!!!
I'm having the time of my life.
Becky
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Serve Love Meditate Realize
The Sivananda Ashram has daily satsang and a 24 hour chant of Hare Krishna, Hare Rama. Some of us went up and chanted a bit with them one night. I made plans to go back during the day to take pictures. Among other things, I got a picture of the sign that said Don't feed the monkeys.
Eric and Gina both have special connections to Sivananda. Each studied yoga under one of the two gurus sent from here to the US. As I was chanting on the ghat Monday, I looked up over my right shoulder and there sat an Indian version of Eric. He was trim, nicely built, had white hair, and was wearing white pants and a bright purple shirt. I had to laugh and I gave Eric a mental hug. Later that night, at the The Divine Life Society, Sivananda Ashram I could swear Eric was hovering over my right shoulder, laughing gleefully. I loved it!
Eric and Gina both have special connections to Sivananda. Each studied yoga under one of the two gurus sent from here to the US. As I was chanting on the ghat Monday, I looked up over my right shoulder and there sat an Indian version of Eric. He was trim, nicely built, had white hair, and was wearing white pants and a bright purple shirt. I had to laugh and I gave Eric a mental hug. Later that night, at the The Divine Life Society, Sivananda Ashram I could swear Eric was hovering over my right shoulder, laughing gleefully. I loved it!
Rishikesh - continued
Saturday - We met on the ghat at 7 for group chanting to chant the sun up. I woke up sad and was releasing old feelings and patterns of not feeling loved or being lovable. I had a huge attitude of It's not fair, where's mine? There are several relationship dynamics that are in evidence in the group and it was bringing things up for me. After we chanted the sun up, I was standing in Ma Ganga and was just sobbing, releasing the pain and hurt and letting the river wash it away. I was just being with the feelings and loving them as they were released.
Later, after I got out of the river, my intuitive friend walked up to me and said Good work! I asked him what he meant and he said he saw white whisps being released from my body and carried down the river. He's pretty amazing.
Have I mentioned that it's customary for women to swim here fully clothed? It's very different swimming in sarong and long shirt in a very cold, fast moving river.
Around 9am, Amy and I walked the two kms up the hill to the upper bridge to see the Ayurvedic doctor. He was booked up so we went and had an Ayurvedic massage. That woman was awesome! An hour of medicated oils followed by a medicated shower. I've now had my first bucket shower in a dark bathroom that's actually more like a concrete stall. Have I mentioned how much I love this place lately? I really do.
We split up to get our massages and I ate lunch at a very nice restaurant that had floor level tables with pillows to sit on. The food was spectacular. I then crossed the bridge and wandered along the eastern side of the Ganga and shopped. I got a Tibetan singing bowl and some mala beads and saw my first monkeys. They walked with their babies hanging underneath them, holding on to their chests. They are so cute! They're a bit dangerous though, so I kept my distance.
The sadness of the early morning disappeared but came back with intensity during our evening chanting session. I felt alone, disconnected, cut off, and longing for relationship. There's nothing to do with that except let it be. I had intuitive dreams all night and woke the next morning feeling calm and centered. I'm the source of the Love I seek. I don't need to wall off any part of myself, I can let my love flow and not put any conditions on it. I'm learning to not judge people. Judging others is just judging myself in disguise.
I'm clearing out a lot of old stuff to make room for something new. It's time for my next chapter. During my morning swim after sunrise chanting, Ma Ganga hugged me and tugged on my ankle and whispered You're mine.
Later, after I got out of the river, my intuitive friend walked up to me and said Good work! I asked him what he meant and he said he saw white whisps being released from my body and carried down the river. He's pretty amazing.
Have I mentioned that it's customary for women to swim here fully clothed? It's very different swimming in sarong and long shirt in a very cold, fast moving river.
Around 9am, Amy and I walked the two kms up the hill to the upper bridge to see the Ayurvedic doctor. He was booked up so we went and had an Ayurvedic massage. That woman was awesome! An hour of medicated oils followed by a medicated shower. I've now had my first bucket shower in a dark bathroom that's actually more like a concrete stall. Have I mentioned how much I love this place lately? I really do.
We split up to get our massages and I ate lunch at a very nice restaurant that had floor level tables with pillows to sit on. The food was spectacular. I then crossed the bridge and wandered along the eastern side of the Ganga and shopped. I got a Tibetan singing bowl and some mala beads and saw my first monkeys. They walked with their babies hanging underneath them, holding on to their chests. They are so cute! They're a bit dangerous though, so I kept my distance.
The sadness of the early morning disappeared but came back with intensity during our evening chanting session. I felt alone, disconnected, cut off, and longing for relationship. There's nothing to do with that except let it be. I had intuitive dreams all night and woke the next morning feeling calm and centered. I'm the source of the Love I seek. I don't need to wall off any part of myself, I can let my love flow and not put any conditions on it. I'm learning to not judge people. Judging others is just judging myself in disguise.
I'm clearing out a lot of old stuff to make room for something new. It's time for my next chapter. During my morning swim after sunrise chanting, Ma Ganga hugged me and tugged on my ankle and whispered You're mine.
Rishikesh
Tomorrow is our last day here, and I will miss it dearly when we leave. This city is so different from Varanasi. The river splits the city and we are just south of two bridges, two kilometers apart. The closest one is Ram Joola and the farther one is Lakshman Joola. They are barely wide enough for four people to walk abreast and there are cows, monkeys, motorcycles, push carts and people all crossing them in both directions at the same time. Oh, and they are suspension bridges high above the river and I have no fear. India is truly a miraculous place.
The first morning, we woke before sunrise and Amy and I went down to the ghat in front of our ashram. We chanted Gayatri mantra for about 45 minutes waiting for the sun to crest the mountains across the river. First I felt that I merged with Amy and was a bit tense and sore. Then I became the light I was waiting for and felt my body melt. Later, I became the river Herself and felt my essence feeding and nourishing all.
All at once the sun came up in a V between two peaks. My voice broke with emotion and the light shattered into millions of brilliant multicoulored shimmering facets with no form or shape. Dazzling barely begins to describe it. It consumed my entire field of vision and then my entire being.
Aside: At this point as I was writing this in my paper journal, a brass band and many women paraded past, apparently for the first day of the 9 day Goddess festival. Gina grabbed me and and we went to get a closer look and took some pictures. Have I mentioned it's very surreal here?
Back to the first morning: Once the sun was fully up, I started singing (To the tune of Oh Shenandoah) Oh Ganga Ma, I want to feel you, Away you rolling river, Oh Ganga Ma, I want to hold you. Away, I'm bound away, across the wide Ma Ganga.
I walked over to the water, gave pranams (deep bows), cupped water in my hands and poured it over my head, forehead, and heart. I then strode into the water a bit over waist deep (it's cold!), turned to the North facing against the current with my hands in the Namast&eaccute; position (palms together, like in prayer, over my heart). I rested in the connection with the Goddess for a while and then turned to the South and fell backwards into the water. I sank and then floated to the surface and floated downstream in the strong current.
I stood up and turned North into the current again and splashed and laughed with unbridled joy. The energy rushing through my body was like nothing I've ever felt before. I turned South again and fell backwards into the water a 2nd time and stood up and laughed and splashed again. Then I walked to the edge and touched my head to the bottom and knelt and sang Ma Ganga for a while.
Finally, I blessed myself again with the water and climbed out. I then stood facing the East in the Namast&eaccute; position and meditated and basked in the sun. After a while, a surreal conversation about matches between our intuitive groupmate, Amy and a 5 year old child had me giggling. It was perfect.
The first morning, we woke before sunrise and Amy and I went down to the ghat in front of our ashram. We chanted Gayatri mantra for about 45 minutes waiting for the sun to crest the mountains across the river. First I felt that I merged with Amy and was a bit tense and sore. Then I became the light I was waiting for and felt my body melt. Later, I became the river Herself and felt my essence feeding and nourishing all.
All at once the sun came up in a V between two peaks. My voice broke with emotion and the light shattered into millions of brilliant multicoulored shimmering facets with no form or shape. Dazzling barely begins to describe it. It consumed my entire field of vision and then my entire being.
Aside: At this point as I was writing this in my paper journal, a brass band and many women paraded past, apparently for the first day of the 9 day Goddess festival. Gina grabbed me and and we went to get a closer look and took some pictures. Have I mentioned it's very surreal here?
Back to the first morning: Once the sun was fully up, I started singing (To the tune of Oh Shenandoah) Oh Ganga Ma, I want to feel you, Away you rolling river, Oh Ganga Ma, I want to hold you. Away, I'm bound away, across the wide Ma Ganga.
I walked over to the water, gave pranams (deep bows), cupped water in my hands and poured it over my head, forehead, and heart. I then strode into the water a bit over waist deep (it's cold!), turned to the North facing against the current with my hands in the Namast&eaccute; position (palms together, like in prayer, over my heart). I rested in the connection with the Goddess for a while and then turned to the South and fell backwards into the water. I sank and then floated to the surface and floated downstream in the strong current.
I stood up and turned North into the current again and splashed and laughed with unbridled joy. The energy rushing through my body was like nothing I've ever felt before. I turned South again and fell backwards into the water a 2nd time and stood up and laughed and splashed again. Then I walked to the edge and touched my head to the bottom and knelt and sang Ma Ganga for a while.
Finally, I blessed myself again with the water and climbed out. I then stood facing the East in the Namast&eaccute; position and meditated and basked in the sun. After a while, a surreal conversation about matches between our intuitive groupmate, Amy and a 5 year old child had me giggling. It was perfect.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Agra to Rishikesh
We had an early breakfast and hit the road to Rishikesh. We piled 10 people with mountains of luggage into two taxi's for a 4 hour ride to the train station in Delhi. On the way, we stopped at Vrindivan, the home of the main temple of the Hare Krishnas.
We sat on the floor and chanted with them for a while. While clapping and chanting
An intuitive in our group told me he felt an amazing connection between me and the Hare Krishnas and asked me if I was going to join them. I told him I was polyspiritual. I'm polyamourous, so why not polyspiritual too?
We piled back into the taxi's and continued on to Delhi. Some of the road signs are hilarious.
Ha! Lane lines are merely a suggestion here. I've been in a vehicle on a two lane road on a clif and we were three wide!
After a short wait we boarded the train for the 6 hour ride to Hardiwar. We were all pretty fried when we got there. The feel of Hardiwar near the train station was completely different than Varanasi. It was a 3rd world version of a mix between Times Square and the Myrtle Beach Pavillion.
There were many more trees and hills and bridges over water. It was a refreshing change. We soon arrived in Rishikesh to our waterfront lodging on the Ganga. Heaven.
We sat on the floor and chanted with them for a while. While clapping and chanting
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare HareI felt like I was floating.
An intuitive in our group told me he felt an amazing connection between me and the Hare Krishnas and asked me if I was going to join them. I told him I was polyspiritual. I'm polyamourous, so why not polyspiritual too?
We piled back into the taxi's and continued on to Delhi. Some of the road signs are hilarious.
LANE DRIVING IS SAFE DRIVING
Ha! Lane lines are merely a suggestion here. I've been in a vehicle on a two lane road on a clif and we were three wide!
HELL OR HELMET - YOUR CHOICEI've seen whole families, including infants, hanging off the side of motorcycles. Besides, I thought Hell was a strange concept in this culture.
After a short wait we boarded the train for the 6 hour ride to Hardiwar. We were all pretty fried when we got there. The feel of Hardiwar near the train station was completely different than Varanasi. It was a 3rd world version of a mix between Times Square and the Myrtle Beach Pavillion.
There were many more trees and hills and bridges over water. It was a refreshing change. We soon arrived in Rishikesh to our waterfront lodging on the Ganga. Heaven.
Taj Addendum
I forgot a part in my last post. After we got kicked out the first time, I went back in and went to the left wall just inside the door and knelt with my head on the floor. Allahu started chanting through me, slow and loud. Over and over I chanted it. At one point I looked up and 3 or 4 others were kneeling all around me. I put my head back down and kept chanting. When I stopped, I was so moved I couldn't speak.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Taj Mahal
We left Varanasi and took an overnight train to Agra. There are no words to describe the trip to the train station, so I won't even try. I've almost become immune to the harrowing traffic conditions and thousands of near misses and look almost as bored as the locals when riding. Almost.
The overnight train was a blast! We had berths with 4 and 6 bunks, depending on the car we happened to land in. We all gathered in one 4 bunk berth and played ukelaile and cello and sang for 3 or 4 hours. I even sung a solo improv verse about being on a train to Nirvana. We have the most amazing people in our group and that was the most fun I think I've ever had. After a night of gently rocking, we got to Agra mid morning, checked into our hotel, had a delicious breakfast (I love fruit lassis!!!) and chilled for the afternoon. We had heard sunset was the best time to see the Taj, so we made plans to do that. The Taj is in a no pollution zone and cars aren't allowed, so we took the last bit of the journey in single axle horse drawn carts. Just when I thought I'd been in every conceivable type of conveyance...
The Taj Mahal has the most delicious energy! When I took my shoes off and stepped on the stone it was humming. The love, anguish, and devotion is palpable. The grounds are gorgeous and even though they say no photography, everyone was taking pictures. I took a lot of pictures myself and we got one of the roving photographers to take a group shot and some individual shots. The group shot turned out really good, I'll be posting a shot of it when I get home.
We sat and chanted on the terrace outside the tomb and watched a gorgeous sunset. We chanted a Sufi chant and a group of Muslims came up and talked. The people were so very friendly. There were Muslims and Hindus and Westerners and everyone seemed happy.
Some of us then put our hands on the building and the energy increased. It was alive! Then we went inside. I went in and then came out and was speechless. I still can't describe the feeling that overwhelmed me. Wow.
The tomb is circular with the grave mounds in the middle. Amy, a friend in our group, was already inside toning about 1/3 of the way around when I went back in. The acoustics are phenomenal in there and it sounded like a choir of angels. A few of us walked around to her and joined her. The guards like everyone to keep moving clockwise, but we sat and toned for a while. It was magical.
All of a sudden several guards rushed up holding sticks and blowing their whistles and told us to move on. We went outside and it was dark. We all sat on the terrace again and talked. I lay back on the stone and just let the vibration have it's way with me. After a while we decided as a group we'd do one final chant and leave, as it was about to close. We decided to do another Sufi chant, as the Taj Mahal was built by a Muslim. We got about 2/3 of the way through the word Allah, our 10 voices all melded beautifully into one, when lots of giant flashlights and whistles came out of nowhere. We were surrounded by guards shouting No Prayer! No Prayer!
Oops.
It's totally understandable, prayer can be divisive and cause major issues. We were just trying to honour the space though and the guards were totally cool when they figured out we were harmless. It was quite the rush though.
I'm glad we went. I originally thought it was not worth the two days of grueling travel to get there and then move on to Rishikesh the very next day, but it was so worth it. It's not something I will ever forget.
The overnight train was a blast! We had berths with 4 and 6 bunks, depending on the car we happened to land in. We all gathered in one 4 bunk berth and played ukelaile and cello and sang for 3 or 4 hours. I even sung a solo improv verse about being on a train to Nirvana. We have the most amazing people in our group and that was the most fun I think I've ever had. After a night of gently rocking, we got to Agra mid morning, checked into our hotel, had a delicious breakfast (I love fruit lassis!!!) and chilled for the afternoon. We had heard sunset was the best time to see the Taj, so we made plans to do that. The Taj is in a no pollution zone and cars aren't allowed, so we took the last bit of the journey in single axle horse drawn carts. Just when I thought I'd been in every conceivable type of conveyance...
The Taj Mahal has the most delicious energy! When I took my shoes off and stepped on the stone it was humming. The love, anguish, and devotion is palpable. The grounds are gorgeous and even though they say no photography, everyone was taking pictures. I took a lot of pictures myself and we got one of the roving photographers to take a group shot and some individual shots. The group shot turned out really good, I'll be posting a shot of it when I get home.
We sat and chanted on the terrace outside the tomb and watched a gorgeous sunset. We chanted a Sufi chant and a group of Muslims came up and talked. The people were so very friendly. There were Muslims and Hindus and Westerners and everyone seemed happy.
Some of us then put our hands on the building and the energy increased. It was alive! Then we went inside. I went in and then came out and was speechless. I still can't describe the feeling that overwhelmed me. Wow.
The tomb is circular with the grave mounds in the middle. Amy, a friend in our group, was already inside toning about 1/3 of the way around when I went back in. The acoustics are phenomenal in there and it sounded like a choir of angels. A few of us walked around to her and joined her. The guards like everyone to keep moving clockwise, but we sat and toned for a while. It was magical.
All of a sudden several guards rushed up holding sticks and blowing their whistles and told us to move on. We went outside and it was dark. We all sat on the terrace again and talked. I lay back on the stone and just let the vibration have it's way with me. After a while we decided as a group we'd do one final chant and leave, as it was about to close. We decided to do another Sufi chant, as the Taj Mahal was built by a Muslim. We got about 2/3 of the way through the word Allah, our 10 voices all melded beautifully into one, when lots of giant flashlights and whistles came out of nowhere. We were surrounded by guards shouting No Prayer! No Prayer!
Oops.
It's totally understandable, prayer can be divisive and cause major issues. We were just trying to honour the space though and the guards were totally cool when they figured out we were harmless. It was quite the rush though.
I'm glad we went. I originally thought it was not worth the two days of grueling travel to get there and then move on to Rishikesh the very next day, but it was so worth it. It's not something I will ever forget.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Rishikesh
Today is our second day in Rishikesh. I have so much to post about, but my Ayurvedic massage starts in 10 minutes and I must run.
Upcoming topics include:
Getting kicked out of the Taj Mahal. Twice.
Marathon travel day from Agra to Rishikesh with a side trip to Vrindivan and chanting with the Hare Krishnas at their main temple.
Swimming in Ganga Ma!!!
Chanting Guyatri mantra at sunrise, alone and with the group.
India = Surrender
Thank you for thinking of me and posting comments. My heart is opened. Silly me, I didn't have anonymous comments enabled so it was my own fault. Funny how most things I get upset over in my life are of my own making :)
I love you all.
Namasté,
Beckyji
Upcoming topics include:
Getting kicked out of the Taj Mahal. Twice.
Marathon travel day from Agra to Rishikesh with a side trip to Vrindivan and chanting with the Hare Krishnas at their main temple.
Swimming in Ganga Ma!!!
Chanting Guyatri mantra at sunrise, alone and with the group.
India = Surrender
Thank you for thinking of me and posting comments. My heart is opened. Silly me, I didn't have anonymous comments enabled so it was my own fault. Funny how most things I get upset over in my life are of my own making :)
I love you all.
Namasté,
Beckyji
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Feeling the need for connection
I've been offline for 2 days and signed on today to no new messages in my inbox and no comments on my blog entries. I'm feeling a bit forgotten and it would be wonderful if you would comment here to let me know you're thinking of me.
I'm definitely thinking of you.
Namasté,
Becky
I'm definitely thinking of you.
Namasté,
Becky
Varanasi Insights
Three main insights jelled for me Tuesday during my meditation.
When I sit and chant at the ghats or anywhere really, there are always at least two other chants going on in the background plus hundreds of conversations all at the same time. What must all the prayers and thoughts sound like to the Universe? I figure it must sound something like the traffic in Varanasi looks to me. All seemingly destined for collision, yet miraculously it flows almost effortlessly. I figure the Universal mind sorts it out quite nicely. It's an interesting thing to ponder.
A second insight using the chaotic traffic as a metaphor is that it might be similar to how our bodies work inside. There must be a chaotic traffic pattern of cells moving through the bloodstream and in organs and tissues, yet everything gets where it needs to go with no conscious effort on our parts. I've heard that in the Vedic system our bodies are a microcosm of the Universe and this seems to fit.
As I was watching the morning routines and swimming in the Ganga I understood that many people would consider it superstitious the belief that the Ganga can't make anyone sick who knows she's a Goddess. I don't think it's superstitious at all, I think it's exactly the same as knowing thoughts create reality. They know they won't get sick and they don't. It's just that simple.
I love how Varanasi is such a spiritual place. I could hear Muslim calls to prayer and chanting on the ghats from my room. Dinner was delayed 30 minutes one night, so I just told the group I'm going to the temple to pray before dinner and no one batted an eye. I walked the dirt paths to the temple and passed numerous Sadhu's (holy men in orange garb) and prayed and got my bindi. I passed livestock and children and mothers and fathers all just going about their daily lives.
The most striking thing so far for me is the transcendence. No one seems unhappy here, even the beggars. Everyone appears serene. Sure, there is pain, but they don't seem to suffer over it. All the drivers and local passengers in traffic are serene. On the way to one factory we were on a highway with lots of traffic. A man was asleep on the side of the road with one leg out in the lane of traffic. No one hit him. People and livestock are walking on the highway mingling with the trucks, buses, rickshaws, bikes, motorcycles, cars, scooters, and push carts. There are no traffic signals and no one stops at intersections and it just flows so smoothly. Everyone looks almost bored!
The beauty of Spirit transcends everything mundane here and it permeates everything, even the hustlers.
Namasté,
Becky
When I sit and chant at the ghats or anywhere really, there are always at least two other chants going on in the background plus hundreds of conversations all at the same time. What must all the prayers and thoughts sound like to the Universe? I figure it must sound something like the traffic in Varanasi looks to me. All seemingly destined for collision, yet miraculously it flows almost effortlessly. I figure the Universal mind sorts it out quite nicely. It's an interesting thing to ponder.
A second insight using the chaotic traffic as a metaphor is that it might be similar to how our bodies work inside. There must be a chaotic traffic pattern of cells moving through the bloodstream and in organs and tissues, yet everything gets where it needs to go with no conscious effort on our parts. I've heard that in the Vedic system our bodies are a microcosm of the Universe and this seems to fit.
As I was watching the morning routines and swimming in the Ganga I understood that many people would consider it superstitious the belief that the Ganga can't make anyone sick who knows she's a Goddess. I don't think it's superstitious at all, I think it's exactly the same as knowing thoughts create reality. They know they won't get sick and they don't. It's just that simple.
I love how Varanasi is such a spiritual place. I could hear Muslim calls to prayer and chanting on the ghats from my room. Dinner was delayed 30 minutes one night, so I just told the group I'm going to the temple to pray before dinner and no one batted an eye. I walked the dirt paths to the temple and passed numerous Sadhu's (holy men in orange garb) and prayed and got my bindi. I passed livestock and children and mothers and fathers all just going about their daily lives.
The most striking thing so far for me is the transcendence. No one seems unhappy here, even the beggars. Everyone appears serene. Sure, there is pain, but they don't seem to suffer over it. All the drivers and local passengers in traffic are serene. On the way to one factory we were on a highway with lots of traffic. A man was asleep on the side of the road with one leg out in the lane of traffic. No one hit him. People and livestock are walking on the highway mingling with the trucks, buses, rickshaws, bikes, motorcycles, cars, scooters, and push carts. There are no traffic signals and no one stops at intersections and it just flows so smoothly. Everyone looks almost bored!
The beauty of Spirit transcends everything mundane here and it permeates everything, even the hustlers.
Namasté,
Becky
Varanasi wrap-up
The last two days in Varanasi were amazing. Monday night a small group of us chanted togetherafter dinner and had a group out of body experience during one of the chants. Two shared a visual experience and the other three were just "out there". I was cranky and tired after a day of bait and switch and more wild traffic and I felt my body do a "core dump" and I was totally refreshed after our chanting session.
Earlier Monday afternoon, about 8 of us set out to go to the Ghandi cotton factory. One of the local guides arranged auto rickshaws for us, which was a new an amazing experience in wildness/weirdness/unrestrained laughter. He did, however, hijack our trip to a friend's factory who happened to claim to be named Ghandi. We toured the factory first and it broke my heart to see children working the looms, yet the conditions were more humane than my ex-husband's factory in the states.
The children are so beautiful and I got many pictures. After the tour we were led to a very small room and asked to sit while they showed us bedcovers. The bedcovers were very beautiful, but the guys were very rude. At one point the pile of silk on the floor reached chest height as we were sitting.
I went outside with a friend and we learned Hindi from the local children. It got a bit overwhelming when they started swarming. Three friends came out and got me to go with them to pick up their tailor made suits at another factory. I declined to go inside there and walked back to the hotel, as it was very close.
Tuesday morning I went down to the Ganga and chanted a mala of Gayatri mantra at 6am. I had a beautiful meditation and then went and stood mid calf in the water on one of the steps. Men, women, and children were bathing and swimming there. When I stepped into the water, the river hugged me. Totally. She's alive! Ma Ganga. Total Love.
I wanted to go swimming so badly! The sun glinting on the water was so beckoning. I got the clear message that there was no difference between swimming and standing there. There is no better or worse, bigger or smaller, right or wrong. I was being embraced by Ma Ganga and that's that! Or not :)
I went to breakfast and signed up for another voice lesson with Anub-ji, one of Gina-ji's teachers. After teaching us a brief history of Indian classical music, he taught us a part of the Billawal Rag. I was so happy to be able to discern the notes when he was singing the thaat (scales). It's so beautiful!
It's an absolutely beautiful Rag about touching the feet of your Guru-ji and two and a half hours flew by like 15 minutes. I could study this music forever!
After that we went to lunch and I picked up my tailor made outfit. It was much too small, to my dismay. I had to wait for the shopkeep to come back and he very graciously gave me a refund minus the 150 rupee tailoring fee (less than $4.00). He rocks!
Somewhere between the restaurant and the shop I thought I lost my camera. We were checking out of the hotel in less than an hour and I raced back there to look. It was nowhere. I decided it was a great chance to practice non-attachment and it really was OK. I decided to check upstairs in the massage room where our lesson was and found it had fallen off the table and was in the corner. Score!
We had a moving ceremony with the hotel staff. They gave us rose garlands and we gave them a signed card and group tip. I hugged each and every one of them and took pictures with some of them. They were very moved. I miss them already!
I've had many insights over my 4 days (OMG I can't believe it was only 4 days!) and I think they deserve their own post, as does the overnight train ride to Agra.
More soon...
Om shanti shanti shantihi,
Becky
Earlier Monday afternoon, about 8 of us set out to go to the Ghandi cotton factory. One of the local guides arranged auto rickshaws for us, which was a new an amazing experience in wildness/weirdness/unrestrained laughter. He did, however, hijack our trip to a friend's factory who happened to claim to be named Ghandi. We toured the factory first and it broke my heart to see children working the looms, yet the conditions were more humane than my ex-husband's factory in the states.
The children are so beautiful and I got many pictures. After the tour we were led to a very small room and asked to sit while they showed us bedcovers. The bedcovers were very beautiful, but the guys were very rude. At one point the pile of silk on the floor reached chest height as we were sitting.
I went outside with a friend and we learned Hindi from the local children. It got a bit overwhelming when they started swarming. Three friends came out and got me to go with them to pick up their tailor made suits at another factory. I declined to go inside there and walked back to the hotel, as it was very close.
Tuesday morning I went down to the Ganga and chanted a mala of Gayatri mantra at 6am. I had a beautiful meditation and then went and stood mid calf in the water on one of the steps. Men, women, and children were bathing and swimming there. When I stepped into the water, the river hugged me. Totally. She's alive! Ma Ganga. Total Love.
I wanted to go swimming so badly! The sun glinting on the water was so beckoning. I got the clear message that there was no difference between swimming and standing there. There is no better or worse, bigger or smaller, right or wrong. I was being embraced by Ma Ganga and that's that! Or not :)
I went to breakfast and signed up for another voice lesson with Anub-ji, one of Gina-ji's teachers. After teaching us a brief history of Indian classical music, he taught us a part of the Billawal Rag. I was so happy to be able to discern the notes when he was singing the thaat (scales). It's so beautiful!
It's an absolutely beautiful Rag about touching the feet of your Guru-ji and two and a half hours flew by like 15 minutes. I could study this music forever!
After that we went to lunch and I picked up my tailor made outfit. It was much too small, to my dismay. I had to wait for the shopkeep to come back and he very graciously gave me a refund minus the 150 rupee tailoring fee (less than $4.00). He rocks!
Somewhere between the restaurant and the shop I thought I lost my camera. We were checking out of the hotel in less than an hour and I raced back there to look. It was nowhere. I decided it was a great chance to practice non-attachment and it really was OK. I decided to check upstairs in the massage room where our lesson was and found it had fallen off the table and was in the corner. Score!
We had a moving ceremony with the hotel staff. They gave us rose garlands and we gave them a signed card and group tip. I hugged each and every one of them and took pictures with some of them. They were very moved. I miss them already!
I've had many insights over my 4 days (OMG I can't believe it was only 4 days!) and I think they deserve their own post, as does the overnight train ride to Agra.
More soon...
Om shanti shanti shantihi,
Becky
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Varanasi update
Yay broadband! Computer access at the hotel is slow and unreliable (see power issues below) and we've been going nonstop since we got here, so this is going to be a long update.
DISCLAIMER TO MY FAMILY: I'm fine. Truly. This will probably sound way worse in your imagination that it is. Trust me. Don't worry :) I considered editing this heavily and sugar coating it so as not to cause concern, but this is who I am and y'all deserve to know the true me. I'm happy and I'm safe. It's all good :) If you don't think you can handle the details, you should probably stop reading. In the words of my 13 year old guide, "No worries, no hurry, no chicken, no curry".
This is going to be disjointed and disconnected, but I'm not going to even try to get into a linear mindset. It's much more pleasant not to.
O.M.G. There are no words in my vocabulary to describe how India has been for me. I have no idea of the day of the week. Someone said we've only been here 4 days. Each day seems like a month in personal transformation.
I adore India! I adore the crowds, the sounds, the smells, and especially the crazy crazy traffic! All around me I see beauty.
The second night here I had a close encounter with the mud on the banks of the Ganga after dark and was a bit shaken. I knew in my core I was OK, but my ego monkey mind was screaming all sorts of dire things that could have happened to me or that might still happen as a result. I woke up Ginaji and told her about it and she, too, felt I was OK. After all, it *is* the Ganga, even though there are corpses floating down it. I had bizarre dreams that night and woke up still shaken. I walked to the ghat (steps leading down to the river) and did my daily practice of chanting and meditating. The message that I was completely safe permeated throughout my entire being and I was called to go greet the river again. I stood in it up to my ankles and poured a bit of water on my head and Ma Ganga gave me her blessing.
The Hotel we are staying in is very nice and the staff is very attentive. It has marble floors and a veranda on all four sides. My room has a view of the Ganga. The food here is exquisite and all vegetarian. The khichade at the hotel is delicious and I'm in love with pumpkin curry.
The sanitary conditions here are way worse than I expected. I never knew I could be so comfortable sitting on the floor with insects , or eating off of leaves on the floor with the insects, etc. I've only seen one toilet that flushed, one must pour water down the others, including the one in my room. Some are Indian style, which is basically a hole in the floor that you squat over. There is no toilet paper in public toilets and I'm glad I brought a good supply The locals truly do use their left hand to clean themselves up with. I know this because I've seen it happen in public. Hand sanitizer is my constant companion.
The power goes off repeatedly and no one blinks an eye. Generators and car batteries power most things. It went off about 6 times during our first dinner at the hotel in Varanasi. It went off in the middle of dinner last night in one of the most expensive restaurants in Varanasi. Said restaurant also had insects crawling around, btw.
The list goes on and on and I love it. This is life!!! Life in all it's breathtaking agony and beauty is in your face all the time here.
It's extremely disorienting typing this, mingling my two worlds. I'm in an Internet cafe paying about .75 USD an hour listening to the constant car horns and bike rickshaw bells and Hindi being spoken behind me. I feel a bit lightheaded as my brain tries to wrap itself around both worlds at the same time. I've petted cows in the street and dodged water buffalo and seen monkeys cavorting on rooftops.
Lots of people live in carts or what looks like shelves in the side of buildings or just on the sidewalk or ghats. Whole families live in small rooms in winding alleys. No one seems unhappy. This is mind blowing. The children are so adorable and so happy!
Spiritual practice is everywhere. Shrines are intermingled with the stalls. I attended a friend's puja this morning and an Aarti puja for the Ganga last night. This morning we went on a sunrise boat ride on the Ganga and spent some time in front of the burning Ghat, where they burn the bodies. We chant daily as a group and it's amazing how connected we all became, almost immediately.
I've been to temples and chanted with a dear heart 13 year old guide who works for one of the silk factories. He taught me a new mantra.
I'm picking up my tailor made suit this afternoon. The thought of me sitting in the floor with 4 or 5 other women and a few men in the middle of shopkeeps unrolling piles of silks and cottons and having clothes tailor made should make a lot of y'all laugh out loud ;)
In addition to the suit, I bought three cotton shirts, one in mauve, one in orange, and one in white and a beautiful striped scarf in purple, lavender, and orange with a bit of white and light green thread running through it. I also got three beautiful wall hangings in the silk factory we visited.
The heat is obscene and so is the humidity, but unbelievably the added layer of scarf helps keep me cool. I chanted two mornings for over an hour in full sun and was fine. We walked about two miles down the ghats last night to the puja, up and down steep steps, over rivulets of questionable liquid streams (think untreated waste) and broken stone and mud paths at a very quick pace with my water bottle, camera, and fairly heavy day pack strapped on. I don't think there was a dry inch of clothing on me when we arrived, but I made it and was in the lead of the pack most of the way. It's amazing what my body can joyfully do when I'm on the path that's right for me!
Dinner afterward was in what I call Varanasi Times Square. Bright lights, traffic going in every direction at insane speeds and more foot traffic than car, rickshaw, and bike traffic mingling with the cows, dogs and goats. Stores and beggars are crowded all together and it's quite bizarre. We took rickshaws home and I was within inches of dump trucks at least 5 times and cows multiple times as well. Everything does this amazing dance and no one hits each other when collision looks unavoidable. Women and children are sitting sidesaddle on the back of scooters and motorcycles with babies in arms. Children are walking in the street and miraculously no one gets hurt.
We've had two music lessons with teachers of Ginaji. They consisted of about 2 1/2 hours sitting cross legged on the roof of the hotel overlooking Ganga. It was hot but the breeze was nice and the staff hung tarps to shade us from the sun. I adored the Dhrupad (classical Indian singing) lesson and am considering coming yearly to study with the Guruji. He teaches at the University here and also takes on private students. It's very spiritual and activates all the chakras and physical and energetic bodies. I love Sargam!
I think I'm getting a massage this afternoon. It's 150 rupees for 45 minutes and that works out to about $5 USD. Yeah, I can get used to this.
I'm very clear that I'll be back. It's the most unusual thing; everything feels so familiar here. It's exactly like the places I created in my mind when I played in imaginary worlds as a child. I know this place...
DISCLAIMER TO MY FAMILY: I'm fine. Truly. This will probably sound way worse in your imagination that it is. Trust me. Don't worry :) I considered editing this heavily and sugar coating it so as not to cause concern, but this is who I am and y'all deserve to know the true me. I'm happy and I'm safe. It's all good :) If you don't think you can handle the details, you should probably stop reading. In the words of my 13 year old guide, "No worries, no hurry, no chicken, no curry".
This is going to be disjointed and disconnected, but I'm not going to even try to get into a linear mindset. It's much more pleasant not to.
O.M.G. There are no words in my vocabulary to describe how India has been for me. I have no idea of the day of the week. Someone said we've only been here 4 days. Each day seems like a month in personal transformation.
I adore India! I adore the crowds, the sounds, the smells, and especially the crazy crazy traffic! All around me I see beauty.
The second night here I had a close encounter with the mud on the banks of the Ganga after dark and was a bit shaken. I knew in my core I was OK, but my ego monkey mind was screaming all sorts of dire things that could have happened to me or that might still happen as a result. I woke up Ginaji and told her about it and she, too, felt I was OK. After all, it *is* the Ganga, even though there are corpses floating down it. I had bizarre dreams that night and woke up still shaken. I walked to the ghat (steps leading down to the river) and did my daily practice of chanting and meditating. The message that I was completely safe permeated throughout my entire being and I was called to go greet the river again. I stood in it up to my ankles and poured a bit of water on my head and Ma Ganga gave me her blessing.
The Hotel we are staying in is very nice and the staff is very attentive. It has marble floors and a veranda on all four sides. My room has a view of the Ganga. The food here is exquisite and all vegetarian. The khichade at the hotel is delicious and I'm in love with pumpkin curry.
The sanitary conditions here are way worse than I expected. I never knew I could be so comfortable sitting on the floor with insects , or eating off of leaves on the floor with the insects, etc. I've only seen one toilet that flushed, one must pour water down the others, including the one in my room. Some are Indian style, which is basically a hole in the floor that you squat over. There is no toilet paper in public toilets and I'm glad I brought a good supply The locals truly do use their left hand to clean themselves up with. I know this because I've seen it happen in public. Hand sanitizer is my constant companion.
The power goes off repeatedly and no one blinks an eye. Generators and car batteries power most things. It went off about 6 times during our first dinner at the hotel in Varanasi. It went off in the middle of dinner last night in one of the most expensive restaurants in Varanasi. Said restaurant also had insects crawling around, btw.
The list goes on and on and I love it. This is life!!! Life in all it's breathtaking agony and beauty is in your face all the time here.
It's extremely disorienting typing this, mingling my two worlds. I'm in an Internet cafe paying about .75 USD an hour listening to the constant car horns and bike rickshaw bells and Hindi being spoken behind me. I feel a bit lightheaded as my brain tries to wrap itself around both worlds at the same time. I've petted cows in the street and dodged water buffalo and seen monkeys cavorting on rooftops.
Lots of people live in carts or what looks like shelves in the side of buildings or just on the sidewalk or ghats. Whole families live in small rooms in winding alleys. No one seems unhappy. This is mind blowing. The children are so adorable and so happy!
Spiritual practice is everywhere. Shrines are intermingled with the stalls. I attended a friend's puja this morning and an Aarti puja for the Ganga last night. This morning we went on a sunrise boat ride on the Ganga and spent some time in front of the burning Ghat, where they burn the bodies. We chant daily as a group and it's amazing how connected we all became, almost immediately.
I've been to temples and chanted with a dear heart 13 year old guide who works for one of the silk factories. He taught me a new mantra.
Radhe Krishna Radhe Krishna Radhe Krisna Radhe KrishaI've gotten bindi from priests. I've lit candles and floated them in the Ganga in wee boats made of leaves and filled with flowers. We took a sunrise Ganga boat cruise this morning and sang the Sunrise Raga. We sang harmony for the people doing their daily practice on the ghats. We sang Oh, Shenandoah, substituting Ganga for Shenandoah and Ma Ganga for wide Missouri. The locals were mesmerized, they don't have harmony in Indian music.
Govinda Bollo Radhe Gopala Bollo
I'm picking up my tailor made suit this afternoon. The thought of me sitting in the floor with 4 or 5 other women and a few men in the middle of shopkeeps unrolling piles of silks and cottons and having clothes tailor made should make a lot of y'all laugh out loud ;)
In addition to the suit, I bought three cotton shirts, one in mauve, one in orange, and one in white and a beautiful striped scarf in purple, lavender, and orange with a bit of white and light green thread running through it. I also got three beautiful wall hangings in the silk factory we visited.
The heat is obscene and so is the humidity, but unbelievably the added layer of scarf helps keep me cool. I chanted two mornings for over an hour in full sun and was fine. We walked about two miles down the ghats last night to the puja, up and down steep steps, over rivulets of questionable liquid streams (think untreated waste) and broken stone and mud paths at a very quick pace with my water bottle, camera, and fairly heavy day pack strapped on. I don't think there was a dry inch of clothing on me when we arrived, but I made it and was in the lead of the pack most of the way. It's amazing what my body can joyfully do when I'm on the path that's right for me!
Dinner afterward was in what I call Varanasi Times Square. Bright lights, traffic going in every direction at insane speeds and more foot traffic than car, rickshaw, and bike traffic mingling with the cows, dogs and goats. Stores and beggars are crowded all together and it's quite bizarre. We took rickshaws home and I was within inches of dump trucks at least 5 times and cows multiple times as well. Everything does this amazing dance and no one hits each other when collision looks unavoidable. Women and children are sitting sidesaddle on the back of scooters and motorcycles with babies in arms. Children are walking in the street and miraculously no one gets hurt.
We've had two music lessons with teachers of Ginaji. They consisted of about 2 1/2 hours sitting cross legged on the roof of the hotel overlooking Ganga. It was hot but the breeze was nice and the staff hung tarps to shade us from the sun. I adored the Dhrupad (classical Indian singing) lesson and am considering coming yearly to study with the Guruji. He teaches at the University here and also takes on private students. It's very spiritual and activates all the chakras and physical and energetic bodies. I love Sargam!
I think I'm getting a massage this afternoon. It's 150 rupees for 45 minutes and that works out to about $5 USD. Yeah, I can get used to this.
I'm very clear that I'll be back. It's the most unusual thing; everything feels so familiar here. It's exactly like the places I created in my mind when I played in imaginary worlds as a child. I know this place...
Friday, October 5, 2007
Mother Ganga
This morning around 6:30 I woke and walked out on the veranda and beheld the sun coming up over Mother Ganga. I wandered down to the ghat and met a young man who became my guide for the morning, Boblo. I told him I wished to meditate and then would be interested in talking, so he left me alone.
Oh. My. Goddess.
Sitting on those stone steps watching the people coming to bathe and feeling the energy of the stones reverberating through my body as I chanted my mala of the Guyatri mantra was exquisite. The peace and connection I felt with the untold number of people who've been doing this for thousands of years is very moving. There was a temple behind me with a loudspeaker broadcasting other chants and movement all around me and I was in a cocoon of peace.
I meditated and after a period of quiet, I had a conversation with Kali. Ahhh, the fierce, protective love of Kali Ma.
A lot of people would look at this place and recoil from the things they'd consider filthy. Me? All I see is beauty. Everywhere.
True to his word, my guide Boblo met up with me as I ended my meditation. He said it was a good one, and I agreed. It was at least an hour and a half with the chanting and stillness. We walked and he taught me a mantra to Shiva and Radha on the way to a Shiva/Radha temple. We then sat and chanted to Sita and Ram with a harmonium player and drummer inside the temple for another 45 minutes or so. I was given a set of bells to play and I borrowed an orange scarf for my head.
We then walked through back alleys and he told me shops to visit and shops to avoid. I was dodging motorscooters, cow and goat dung, and cycle rickshaws. Some people were sitting in tiny cubbyholes 2 feet tall in front of small fires mixing herbs and things. Others were climbing bamboo ladders to get to upper levels. School children passed us on their way to their morning lessons.
Now I'm on my way to meet Gina and the others for our morning chanting before breakfast.
Heaven. Namaste. May you be a blessing to all you meet today.
Oh. My. Goddess.
Sitting on those stone steps watching the people coming to bathe and feeling the energy of the stones reverberating through my body as I chanted my mala of the Guyatri mantra was exquisite. The peace and connection I felt with the untold number of people who've been doing this for thousands of years is very moving. There was a temple behind me with a loudspeaker broadcasting other chants and movement all around me and I was in a cocoon of peace.
I meditated and after a period of quiet, I had a conversation with Kali. Ahhh, the fierce, protective love of Kali Ma.
A lot of people would look at this place and recoil from the things they'd consider filthy. Me? All I see is beauty. Everywhere.
True to his word, my guide Boblo met up with me as I ended my meditation. He said it was a good one, and I agreed. It was at least an hour and a half with the chanting and stillness. We walked and he taught me a mantra to Shiva and Radha on the way to a Shiva/Radha temple. We then sat and chanted to Sita and Ram with a harmonium player and drummer inside the temple for another 45 minutes or so. I was given a set of bells to play and I borrowed an orange scarf for my head.
We then walked through back alleys and he told me shops to visit and shops to avoid. I was dodging motorscooters, cow and goat dung, and cycle rickshaws. Some people were sitting in tiny cubbyholes 2 feet tall in front of small fires mixing herbs and things. Others were climbing bamboo ladders to get to upper levels. School children passed us on their way to their morning lessons.
Now I'm on my way to meet Gina and the others for our morning chanting before breakfast.
Heaven. Namaste. May you be a blessing to all you meet today.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Delhi!
Namaskar! I'm in Delhi, flying to Vanranasi later today. I'm 20 minutes late meeting my party, so have to run. This place rocks!!!!!!!!
Love you all, more later.
hugz,
Becky
Love you all, more later.
hugz,
Becky
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Thoughts On the Eve
I'm all packed and as ready as I'll ever be. I'm shifting my wake/sleep cycle and I'll sleep on the plane.
For those that don't know, this trip is Gina Salá's River of Sound tour. I've been studying weekly with Gina since April and she's an exquisite teacher, both of music and spiritual matters. She is the most awakened person I've ever met and I've been blessed beyond measure working with her.
Monday night, Gina taught the first half of Spiritual Practices at CSL. She taught about using sound as spiritual practice and we did a good bit of chanting. As usual, I blissed out very quickly. During the break, I started jumping up and down and skipping around the room, hugging people and saying "I get to do this every day for 3 weeks!" I think that's when it finally started sinking in.
It's a wonderful class. I'm supported by the prayers of my classmates and I can feel them with me. The new connections I've made in just 3 short weeks are very deep.
A deep joy overcame me while driving to my Ayurvedic doctor's appointment Tuesday after work. I can feel my guides being thrilled with my decision to take this trip. They were giddy and I was getting a contact high :) I feel like I'm in the Universal Flow, and it feels wonderful. All is well.
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu. (May all beings in all the realms be well and experience the true causes of happiness.)
Om Shanti Shanti Shantihi. (Peace in the physical realm, peace in the spiritual realm, and peace in the causal realm.)
For those that don't know, this trip is Gina Salá's River of Sound tour. I've been studying weekly with Gina since April and she's an exquisite teacher, both of music and spiritual matters. She is the most awakened person I've ever met and I've been blessed beyond measure working with her.
Monday night, Gina taught the first half of Spiritual Practices at CSL. She taught about using sound as spiritual practice and we did a good bit of chanting. As usual, I blissed out very quickly. During the break, I started jumping up and down and skipping around the room, hugging people and saying "I get to do this every day for 3 weeks!" I think that's when it finally started sinking in.
It's a wonderful class. I'm supported by the prayers of my classmates and I can feel them with me. The new connections I've made in just 3 short weeks are very deep.
A deep joy overcame me while driving to my Ayurvedic doctor's appointment Tuesday after work. I can feel my guides being thrilled with my decision to take this trip. They were giddy and I was getting a contact high :) I feel like I'm in the Universal Flow, and it feels wonderful. All is well.
Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu. (May all beings in all the realms be well and experience the true causes of happiness.)
Om Shanti Shanti Shantihi. (Peace in the physical realm, peace in the spiritual realm, and peace in the causal realm.)
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