Here is a random list of observations and musings over my first week back in India, in no particular order:
There are more pigs in the streets than before, and they startle easily; same goes for turkeys.
There are more domesticated dogs than I remember and the wild dogs are quite cheeky!
Not nearly as many men walk around holding hands. That is disappointing.
There is much more traffic of all types, but especially big, earth moving machines, which I find quite unsettling.
The roads are in much worse disrepair (and I didn’t think that was possible).
There’s way more wind than I remember; the nightly windstorms are quite fierce.
It’s cooler at night than I remember.
The sadhus are quite aggressive in their begging.
The local population seems much more willing to engage with Westerners, or at least with me.
I’m less enamoured with India than I usually am. Perhaps being in school and not being allowed to let go of the West has something to do with that. 3 more days…
I’m reminded of part of James’ teaching from Patanjali's Yoga Sutras over the summer about not trying to recreate something from the past; instead to surrender and open to what’s here now. That’s when samadhi can happen, in true surrender. I am resisting the temptation to try to force Tiru to feel like it felt to me the other three times I was here. It simply doesn’t feel that way to me this time. Much of the time I’m successful at that, other times I’m not.
Power cuts 3 times a day seems excessive.
My body is much stronger physically than the other times I was here.
I got sick much sooner this time. Oh India, land of paradox.
The networks and associations of people operate like gangs sometimes.
Love knows no boundaries of time or distance.
My friends feel like jewels that I wear in open backed Vedic style rings on my fingers. Their uniqueness is priceless and quite elegant. One in particular feels like a deep green emerald. What a treasure!
Bhaktananda Ashram is now a networked with a sustainable cooperative community which is engaged in organic biodynamic farming and building ecofriendly structures with solar power. It’s loosely based on Sadhana Forest near Auroville. I’m going to tour Sadhana Forest with other community members soon.
Some things have radically changed and some things have stayed the same and sometimes I can’t tell which is which.
I left here a seeker and came back a leader and that’s the biggest mindfuck so far.
My hair absolutely loves it here and is a flowing mane of lusciousness. Now that’s something I’ve never said in all my 50 years.
I discovered I was afraid of Saraaswati. That news came during my second kirtan here. I know so little about music that I feel ashamed with my crude offerings. Suddenly, I realized I was the one judging, not Her, and relaxed into Her embrace. It was sweet.
Power cuts in the evening are my favourite time of day. People gather outside and talk about life and the Universe and plans and dreams, or stargaze in the dark. It’s quite lovely. I get a little sad when the lights come back on and people disperse back into their lives.
Cooking for myself in India is the bee’s knees!
I don’t know why I’m here in India. Sometimes I don’t care and just let it be. Other times I’m like a dog with a bone, gnawing on it. Letting it be is much nicer.
I feel like there are two Indias: North and South. They are very different. I miss North India a lot. By the time I get there, I will be done with the South. Wonder if I’ll miss South India when I’m in the North? I really think it would have been good to get my fix of the North first, like I had planned, but the Universe didn’t agree. Don’t want to waste my time in the South pining for the North and missing what is beautiful here. That’s just silly and wasteful. Be here now, Devi Dear.
Vera is coming!!!
Jordi is coming!!!
Sanjay is coming!!!
I’m not putting any expectations on reunions with friends, I’m letting them be what they will. We’ve all changed since we’ve seen each other last.
I may be a renunciant after all, considering that I’ve given up just about everything in my life to be here. Is it possible to be a hedonist renunciant? It must be, as that would be me. Are there more of us on the planet? I’d love to find others.
I know life is good when I get a popup reminder to explore the features of my laptop that I put off when I first got it, and I click YES because I am happy, comfortable, and I have all the time in the world.
The ants here are carnivorous and quite impressive with the teamwork. They started out by carrying out spiders, but a few days ago the carted a praying mantis out of here that was about 50 times their size like it was nothing. I felt bad for the praying mantis. I liked that it came and prayed on my wall hanging of Laxmi. I have a wary respect for the ants. I sometimes wonder if I’ll awaken in the night being carried out on my back, like the praying mantis, by the wee beasties. We have a tentative agreement: they stay out of my stuff and I allow them to carry out their sacred duties. When they violate their part of the agreement, I get to kill them. They pretty much stick to it with a few violations.
Jet Airways is a great international airline. It’s not quite as spotless and bright as Asiana, but the seat bottoms moved forward when the seats reclined, there was individual entertainment on the seat backs, real silverware came with a very tasty dinner, breakfast came with a hot wet face cloth, and after breakfast there was ice cream! Hard frozen solid ice cream bars! It was my second flight and a code share with American Airlines and put the comfort of that American Airlines flight to shame. That said, it was a 10 hour flight and my legs and ankles still haven’t recovered fully. I have a 15 hour leg on the way home and will definitely need to get out of my seat and walk more.
More soon.Namasté
Devi
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