Integral Spirituality

I'm in Tantrika heaven reading Ken Wilber's "Integral Spirituality" book! I can only read a small amount at a time and I get so excited I have to put it down and savour and integrate for a while. Just in the first chapter, he's talking about practices that facilitate pure consciousness being liberated from their "cultural embededness ... that ignorance that allows social and cultural interests - patriarchal, sexist, ethnocentric, androcentric - to ride undetected into the awareness of a meditator even during [flashes of enlightenment]"

He postulates that you cannot separate cultural from transcendent without first seeing and including all the parts, then we can choose what to interact with and what to leave behind. Yes! See and be aware of ALL! Don't choose the path of transcendence to turn our backs on what is in front of us in our current stage of evolution! It's all One! *bounce*

This is so relevant to my recent, passionate questioning of "Why does it matter?" I could feel deep in my body and soul that it did matter, but the teaching seemed to tell me it shouldn't. "Why does it matter if I live in India or Virginia? If Consciousness is perfect and I am That wherever I am, it shouldn't matter." Based on Wilber's statement above, it DOES matter. Just living the practices I've learned thus far (saying that chanting and mindfulness is all I need to be happy and effective living in Virginia, for example) is the ignorance he's talking about, and that is perpetuating the things that are so damaging to our very existence on the planet.

Patriarchy, sexism, ethnocentrism, androcentrism: these are the things that the Occupy and Environmental movements are calling to our attention; these are the cultural biases that have killed our socioeconomic and physical environments. To truly be empowered and to empower others, I have to acknowledge and include the cultural biases that are inherent in Virginia as well as the ones inherent in the meditation practices I've learned and then get masterful at separating them. It does matter! Until I am masterful, I will be carrying them forward. Until I am masterful, I need a nurturing, supportive environment to live in.

OMG!!! This is powerful!!! I see this Integral philosophy as key to our living in the new era that is arising. It's the first concrete thing I've seen that shows me how we're going to get through this transition and move forward as a species. It's not just swinging the pendulum in the other direction, it's including the whole of what came before within a new dimension that gives us so much more room to operate. It is applicable to science, environmentalism, business, art, spirituality, medicine, academia, everything! This rocks!!!

Bhaktananda Ashram Update

I am very excited about how Bhaktananda Ashram is unfolding. I have been called to create spiritual community all over the planet, but I did not know how this was to happen. This information is being revealed to me here in such a sweet way. Shanthi Nilayam and Bhaktananda Ashram are now in partnership, building a sustainable, spiritual community that is loosely based on http://www.sadhanaforest.org, with the exception that we are not vegan.

Shanthi Nilayam has the organic farm underway, employing biodynamic techniques and building sustainable earthships with solar power. Bhaktananda Ashram is offering the spiritual component with kirtan and other Sacred Sound practices, classes, and workshops. There are additional partnership potentials in South Africa and two other countries that I cannot remember at the moment. This is happening with such Grace and Ease that it is CLEARLY the Universe’s orchestration.

If anyone wants to be a part of the emerging social paradigm, one based on cooperation and sustainability, investing in Bhaktananda Ashram is one way to do that. I will be asking for support soon in bringing this vision into reality. We are committed to leaving the communities we operate in better off than when we arrived. I see Bhaktananda Ashram gaining valuable information on the construction and maintenance of such communities here in Thiruvannamalai and bringing that knowledge to a variety of places on the planet, including the US. I see these communities becoming shining examples of cooperative living in this new age of conscious awareness we are moving into as a species, and I am grateful for this opportunity to do my small part to herald it in.

Shanti OM! May the Peace of God be yours!

Lunchtime musings on the last day of school

I took myself out for a celebratory lunch at Tasty’s of fruit curd and finger chips. I love the potatoes here. In India, I suspect they do not put the eye growth inhibitor toxins on them like they do in the US. I got sick immediately after the last time I ate here, so I’m testing my faith. Lunch is over and I’m now lying back on a bench, fully reclined, writing this and waiting for the power to come back on so I can get online and post it. It’s hot today, but the sun is in and out of the clouds and there is a nice breeze. I’m under the thatch so it’s very pleasant.

The awareness is slowly trickling in that I’m done with school. I have some administrative tasks to follow up with over the next two days, so I’m not completely separated from it, but I have no more commitment related to assignments. Looking back, the Mountain knew what It was doing when It called me directly here. I think it would have been impossible for me to complete my assignments while being in Rishikesh and Vrindavan with all the travel and logistical issues that would have been involved in that plan. I think it’s going to take a bit of time to sink in and then I can truly relax and celebrate. I have a feeling I’m going to feel a lot lighter very soon.

So much has happened since I got here that it feels like I've been here a month. I'm trying to stay out of the “If only I had … instead” game in regards to my phone. It’s not about losing the phone itself, it’s about wondering why I cannot seem to hold onto anything I love lately. Is it so bad to cherish things in my life and want to keep them? What’s up with all the letting go? Yesterday, I did come to an awakening that I am COMPLETELY at choice about letting go of everything in Seattle to come here. That was empowering. I didn’t choose to let go of the phone though.

I’m not sure about replacing it. Am sitting with not having one and seeing what comes of that. Having that phone here never felt quite right to me. It was something about the form factor and noticeability. There are some ways one wants to be invisible here and that phone attracted a lot of attention. My primary need for a phone here is texting and I have gotten so used to my touch screen. The couple of basic phones I’ve held in my hands the last couple of days have felt so unsatisfactory in that regard. I suspect I can get used to texting with my thumbs on a number pad again, but damn. Decisions, decisions…

I am keenly aware of how privileged I am to even have this decision to make. Ahhh, here is the power, time to go online!

Day after Thanksgiving Musings

Weather patterns have changed around the globe and India is not immune. As I sit here by the window, sipping my chai and looking out at a shrouded Mt. Arunachala, I cannot tell if this is monsoon rain or not. It has been raining relentlessly since early yesterday evening. My braided rug just inside my front door is soaking wet. The thick wooden door was no match for the driving wind and rain.

I planned on going to the Internet café at 9am when they opened and sending off some email and uploading some musings I wrote last night. It is now 2:12pm and there is no sign of the rain stopping, so I content myself to stay in and peer out of my window through the bars. I contemplate what prison might feel like, looking through bars all the time. In the rain, my temple is indeed a cell, albeit a nice one.

So far today, I’ve practiced the 32 Names of Durgaa, listened to the story of the Gayathri Mantra and chanted it, and transcribed the Shanti Mantras. I have also sailed the maiden voyage with my pressure cooker. Wow, that pot is a bizarre contraption. Steam explodes from the valve when it gets to max pressure. The manual calls it a whistle. That’s no freakin’ whistle, that’s a wet belch! The top gets all icky with the contents of the pot mixed with the steam. Not sure if it’s defective or it’s just messy. The rice turned out edible, if not quite delicious. I misread the instructions about the quantity of water and I got scared and turned it off after the first belch. I re-read the instructions a few times, figured it was safe, and fired it back up for about four more belches, all the while fearing for my head. I must remember to get salt and milk to make butter.

I’m about to load the 32 Names of Durgaa into Audacity and slow it down to facilitate memorization. I understand the benefits of learning at full speed, and I also need to hear the syllables clearly. Once I get the syllables and meter down, I’ll practice it at full speed.

I find it amusing that I have a table and chairs for eating here and I have not had that luxury in my last six years in Seattle. I like eating at a table! I hereby resolve to resolve that issue in my next US abode.

My ashram is on the outskirts of civilization here, as it were. I suppose you could say I’m in the suburbs, but I prefer to think I’m on the fringe. There are large houses going up on two sides, but mostly there are fields and I love hearing the voices of the children echoing as they call to each other in the rain. I can hear the traffic from the main road, but it’s much quieter when it rains. Most people just stay in. I can see from my window perch that my path is underwater and the grass looks like a rice paddy. There are actual rice paddies on the back way between Sara’s flat and mine. They are a beautiful shade of green.

One of my new friends, Mark, just took Sara’s flat for the rest of the season. As soon as he described the lovely energy of the place, I knew it was hers. He’s one of the blokes keen on developing the farm and community and I’m glad he’s in there.

I’m feeling called both to Mysore and to Varanasi to study. One of the things I was going to do today was to investigate transport to both locations and weather in Varanasi. I think it gets to the 90’s in December in Varanasi, so it should be warm enough. I suspect, like usual, where I go next will depend on whether or not I can obtain transport. The rain is Arunachala’s way of telling me to sit tight for a while. It’s not time for me to venture out yet.

~ Break for Audacity ~

Now the 32 Names of Durgaa have been sliced out of the broader talk, then diced into files of their own, two for each of the three separate meters. There is a full speed version and a slowed down version of each. The rain seems to have stopped for the moment, but the mountain is still shrouded in mist. It’s almost 4pm, time for the afternoon two hour power cut. The 10am two hour power cut didn’t materialize today, but we had a short, 20 minute one at noon. Never can tell around here. Yes, there goes the power. I think the rain is coming again...

Hello Again From India!

Wow, it's been almost 17 months since I last posted. Life in Seattle was very full on and fast and much has happened in those 17 months. I may fill in some back story here on this blog, or I may not. I'm back in Thiruvannamalai, India, quite suddenly. At the beginning of September, I did not know I was coming. I thought I would be coming next in Nov 2012, but the Universe had other plans, as She often does, so here I am.

Here is a random list of observations and musings over my first week back in India, in no particular order:

There are more pigs in the streets than before, and they startle easily; same goes for turkeys.

There are more domesticated dogs than I remember and the wild dogs are quite cheeky!

Not nearly as many men walk around holding hands. That is disappointing.

There is much more traffic of all types, but especially big, earth moving machines, which I find quite unsettling.

The roads are in much worse disrepair (and I didn’t think that was possible).

There’s way more wind than I remember; the nightly windstorms are quite fierce.

It’s cooler at night than I remember.

The sadhus are quite aggressive in their begging.

The local population seems much more willing to engage with Westerners, or at least with me.

I’m less enamoured with India than I usually am. Perhaps being in school and not being allowed to let go of the West has something to do with that. 3 more days…

I’m reminded of part of James’ teaching from Patanjali's Yoga Sutras over the summer about not trying to recreate something from the past; instead to surrender and open to what’s here now. That’s when samadhi can happen, in true surrender. I am resisting the temptation to try to force Tiru to feel like it felt to me the other three times I was here. It simply doesn’t feel that way to me this time. Much of the time I’m successful at that, other times I’m not.

Power cuts 3 times a day seems excessive.

My body is much stronger physically than the other times I was here.

I got sick much sooner this time. Oh India, land of paradox.

The networks and associations of people operate like gangs sometimes.

Love knows no boundaries of time or distance.

My friends feel like jewels that I wear in open backed Vedic style rings on my fingers. Their uniqueness is priceless and quite elegant. One in particular feels like a deep green emerald. What a treasure!

Bhaktananda Ashram is now a networked with a sustainable cooperative community which is engaged in organic biodynamic farming and building ecofriendly structures with solar power. It’s loosely based on Sadhana Forest near Auroville. I’m going to tour Sadhana Forest with other community members soon.

Some things have radically changed and some things have stayed the same and sometimes I can’t tell which is which.

I left here a seeker and came back a leader and that’s the biggest mindfuck so far.

My hair absolutely loves it here and is a flowing mane of lusciousness. Now that’s something I’ve never said in all my 50 years.

I discovered I was afraid of Saraaswati. That news came during my second kirtan here. I know so little about music that I feel ashamed with my crude offerings. Suddenly, I realized I was the one judging, not Her, and relaxed into Her embrace. It was sweet.

Power cuts in the evening are my favourite time of day. People gather outside and talk about life and the Universe and plans and dreams, or stargaze in the dark. It’s quite lovely. I get a little sad when the lights come back on and people disperse back into their lives.

Cooking for myself in India is the bee’s knees!

I don’t know why I’m here in India. Sometimes I don’t care and just let it be. Other times I’m like a dog with a bone, gnawing on it. Letting it be is much nicer.

I feel like there are two Indias: North and South. They are very different. I miss North India a lot. By the time I get there, I will be done with the South. Wonder if I’ll miss South India when I’m in the North? I really think it would have been good to get my fix of the North first, like I had planned, but the Universe didn’t agree. Don’t want to waste my time in the South pining for the North and missing what is beautiful here. That’s just silly and wasteful. Be here now, Devi Dear.

Vera is coming!!!

Jordi is coming!!!

Sanjay is coming!!!

I’m not putting any expectations on reunions with friends, I’m letting them be what they will. We’ve all changed since we’ve seen each other last.

I may be a renunciant after all, considering that I’ve given up just about everything in my life to be here. Is it possible to be a hedonist renunciant? It must be, as that would be me. Are there more of us on the planet? I’d love to find others.

I know life is good when I get a popup reminder to explore the features of my laptop that I put off when I first got it, and I click YES because I am happy, comfortable, and I have all the time in the world.

The ants here are carnivorous and quite impressive with the teamwork. They started out by carrying out spiders, but a few days ago the carted a praying mantis out of here that was about 50 times their size like it was nothing. I felt bad for the praying mantis. I liked that it came and prayed on my wall hanging of Laxmi. I have a wary respect for the ants. I sometimes wonder if I’ll awaken in the night being carried out on my back, like the praying mantis, by the wee beasties. We have a tentative agreement: they stay out of my stuff and I allow them to carry out their sacred duties. When they violate their part of the agreement, I get to kill them. They pretty much stick to it with a few violations.

Jet Airways is a great international airline. It’s not quite as spotless and bright as Asiana, but the seat bottoms moved forward when the seats reclined, there was individual entertainment on the seat backs, real silverware came with a very tasty dinner, breakfast came with a hot wet face cloth, and after breakfast there was ice cream! Hard frozen solid ice cream bars! It was my second flight and a code share with American Airlines and put the comfort of that American Airlines flight to shame. That said, it was a 10 hour flight and my legs and ankles still haven’t recovered fully. I have a 15 hour leg on the way home and will definitely need to get out of my seat and walk more.

More soon.

Namasté
Devi

Time Portals

I was on my way to my New Thought Roots class one Monday night just before I moved a few weeks ago. I was picking up boxes off of Freecycle in the U District and looked at my watch as I was stuffing them in my back seat at 6:13. I started to drive to class and realized I was very hungry. I thought, "Oh well, I'll just be hungry, I need to be at class by 6:30 and I'm already going to be late". Something inside me went "NO". So, I decided I had all the time I needed and was not going to rush and I would get something to eat. I drove over to Wallingford, got two Dick's Deluxe burgers and a milkshake, ate them while driving and was parallel parking in Madison Valley at 6:28. I told the class during my check-in that opening portals was my new super power. They were amazed and asked me how I did all that in that time frame. I just said, "I knew I could, so I did."

More recently, I was sitting in a White Tantric meditation at Summer Solstice and had to hold postures and mudras and chant for 62 minutes. When I treated each iteration of the chant as the only moment in time, time opened up and I was aware of the effortless eternity of "now". I never thought I could sit for 62 minutes without moving, but I did and it was so powerful! Whole days seemed like minutes. The same thing happened that allowed me to drive for 12 and 13 hours a day.

After Solstice, I went to the Neem Karoli Baba Ashram in Taos. My last morning there, I led a mala of Gayatri while playing my harmonium in the Hanuman Temple. I sank into the "now" of it and all of a sudden, I was back on the ghats in Rishikesh on my 2nd River of Sound tour with Ginaji. We were in a state of ecstasy and she tackled me in the river and we both came up to the surface giggling and whooping. It wasn't a memory, I was *there*. I then went to Varanassi and revisited events there, to Tiruvannamalai and also visited myself and family back in Richmond in the mid '80's.

Judge Thomas Troward, a founder of New Thought, says that the totality of eternity is available in every second and in every point in space. I think that's why these portals show up when I'm focused on the present moment. Time does exist there, ALL of time and All of space. That's where everything is possible. Deepak Chopra talks about it a lot, I think he calls it the causal realm, but I'm not sure.

Surface and Depth

I feel like I've been posting a lot of fluff lately in my facebook status updates, which isn't my norm. I've had profound shifts on this trip that have shaken the bedrock of my existence, but I can't post about them yet. It feels weird to post fluff when a gaping chasm larger than the Grand Canyon has opened up in my consciousness and I'm dancing on a sheen of apparent reality at the surface, kind of like the surface of rainbow coloured soap bubbles.

I did manage to post a detailed answer to a question of Kimberly Ross's about time portals that I'm going to post as a stand alone blog post, because it's something I've been wanting to say and couldn't. At least the ability to answer questions is still intact, lol. I suspect I still need to integrate a lot and I have a strong need to be quiet. It's so good that I'm in a safe, loving environment with little to no responsibilities to process all this.

I feel intoxicated all the time, but the degree varies. Sometimes I feel so saturated in Love that I feel like my physical body may dissolve into it at any moment. My vision is blurry and my brain is not functioning in a linear manner. I feel like I need adult supervision when I leave the house. Just ask my daughter *grin* How does one lose their phone while pumping gas? I wasn't even using it! I'm on the Internet on my laptop for the first time in weeks (for a laptop junkie, that's saying a lot!) and it's the first time I've been able to even think about processing and uploading pix. Nothing technical appeals. After Kundalini yesterday, the intoxication sensation increased dramatically. I could barely key in the code for the Washington cherries I was buying at the self checkout. I was wandering around the store in a daze. It's a nice daze, but geez!

I don't know when or even if I'll be posting about the deeper stuff. I have no way of knowing. My inner guidance says to be it instead of talk about it. I've been getting the message about "actions speak louder than words" for a few months now and this takes it to a whole new level. It's all good, either way. I'm doing Kundalini meditation and singing and playing my harmonium every day and taking life as it comes with my daughter. At this point, it's all I have room for and it's enough. At least I got it together enough to post this and that feels good. So, for those of you who have asked me to keep you posted on my inner journey, there you have it. Whether or not there's more to come remains to be seen. Peace, out.






Me and Hari Singh, my newest ~Angel~. I am so grateful to have an entire flock of Divine beings, loving and guiding me along my path.